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T H E C A R E G I V E R ’ S T O O L K I T
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CHAPTER 1
EXPLORING CHALLENGES
Be patient. If your loved one refuses to admit he/she is having difficulties, or
rejects offers of help, it is important to understand the reasons why.
Is Your Loved One in Denial?
•
Vision loss, difficulty walking or slower
reflexes are some of the changes associated
with aging that are hard to accept.
•
Your loved one could be determined to remain
independent and may not want to be a burden on
anyone else or lose control of his/her own life.
•
Your loved one could be concerned with
appearances and may resist wearing a
hearing aid or using a cane, or may not want
neighbors to see someone coming to his/
her home to help with household tasks.
•
To someone who has been frugal all their life,
your loved one may resist hiring someone
to clean, cook or provide personal care
because of a fear of depleting their savings.
Try to understand these reasons and find a
way to address your concerns to them.
Remember the following:
•
Timing is everything
Plan your discussion for when you
are both calm and relaxed.
•
Be honest about your concerns
Try not to be critical or judgmental. It helps
to use “I” statements, for example, “I’m
very worried that you are eating so little”
or “I’m afraid you might be getting sick.”
•
First things first
Discuss only the most important
issues; try to let the little ones go.
•
Listen respectfully
Take time to hear their point of view.
•
Suggest small steps
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acceptable than a sudden, dramatic change.
•
Change takes time
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number of times before seeing progress.
•
Enlist others
If you do not succeed, enlist an
outside person, such as a doctor,
to speak with them as well.
Harford County Department
of Community Services
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